The Origin Story
Since this seems to be a thing, here’s how a promethea acquired a social life:
> Be born to the shittiest R-tribe shithole that ever R’d
> feelsbadenbie.png
Depression +1
Self-esteem -1
> Be too good for school
> In other words, have your childhood completely wasted on trivial bullshit because nothing is a worthy challenge
> Not even being the best in [redacted] even though you thought you totally sucked in it; others simply sucked even more
Achievement unlocked: Less incompetent than everyone else
Cynicism +1
> First experience with pornography: /d/ and /u/ on 4chan
> sm0lethea gets extremely unrealistic expectations about future sexual parters, such as “they might be really pretty lesbians, some of whom have penises”
Lesbianity +1
> Finish school one year younger than most, thus being too young for some [redacted] awesome stuff. Finland: not even once.
Cynicism +1
> Go to university at 17 because you didn’t have the opportunity to finish school several years earlier than most
> A surprise ADHD and anxiety disorder appears
Depression +1
Self-esteem -1
> Find LessWrong back when the sequences were still fresh
> Be so jelly
> Nonetheless manage to win free utility by realizing you’re not a man while still young, androgynous and neotenic
> Can pinpoint the exact location of “The 12 Virtues of Rationality” which made you basically be like “okay I know where this is heading so I might as well go there straight away”
Lesbianity +1
> Doctors gonna doctor
> In other words, bullshit gatekeepers
> Get your own meds illegally
Cynicism +1
Depression -1
Will to Power +1
> Customs steals your meds
You have acquired the following item: Criminal Record
Achievement unlocked: Fight da power
Edginess +1
> Yell at doctors until they give you meds
> It’s not very effective
> Buy meds on the street
Edginess +1
> Get a private doctor who only cares about money to give you meds
Cynicism +1
> Find a person, who due to her lack of known tumblr presence shall be simply called E, on the internets
> She’s in America, neither has money to fly across the pond
> Agree to have cuddles when either has money and opportunity
Lesbianity +1
> Go change your name
> The state be like “lol nope”
> Forge some documents to change your name
> The state be like “okay then”
Cynicism +1
> Go change your legal gender and have your gonads cut off
> State-sanctioned monopoly clinic is like “lol nope, not ryal wymyn ynough”
> (Previously on state-sanctioned monopoly clinic: “of course you can tell the truth, it won’t hurt you”)
Depression +1
Cynicism +1
> Yell at people online
Edginess +1
You have acquired the following item: Fan Club
> Wait, what’s that, how did this happen
> Yell at some other people
Will to Power +1
You have acquired the following item: Political Following
Depression -1
Self-esteem +1
> Wait, what’s that, how did this happen
> Find yelling at people less interesting now, read from its downsides on SSC
Edginess -1
Achievement unlocked: update on evidence
> Go back to state-sanctioned monopoly clinic, yell at them and threaten to sue them, and the state, and everyone
> Suddenly extremely cooperative
> Get a lot of scaremongering about how nobody will let disgusting enbies change gender or be operated even if they have the mandatory doctors’ letters
> Find out nobody outside the GIC gives a shit or even knows the difference between F64.0 and F64.8 and they were just bullshitting you as always
Cynicism +1
> Get random message on the internet
> It’s E, she has money and opportunity and is coming for the cuddles now
> No contact in over 2 years
> No activity in my account in over 2 years
> She’s nuts
> Her coworkers think she’s nuts
> She thinks she’s nuts
> There’s a pretty strong consensus on that
> She’s a quantum physicist, a rocket scientist and a silicon valley programmer
> I’m a NEET
> nopressure.png
use Fan Club
use Political Following
use Criminal Record
> Somehow she’s impressed by my stories
> Wait, what’s that, how did this happen
Self-esteem +1
> Read stuff on SSC
> “But as a proud black transgender triracial inverse bisexual anti-monogamite…”
> There apparently is someone like that, lemme check them out this sounds entertaining
> Wow
You have acquired the following items: GWWC Pledge; Basic Comprehension of Yiddish; Knowledge of Your Obvious Nemesis; No Regrets
> E comes to visit
> Proves to be an actually existing person
Lesbianity +1
> On the second morning we’re discussing importing me to SF
> Programmers make how much money over there
You have acquired the following item: Future Prospects
> SF is also the place where all the cool people live
> They are actually existing persons
> I am going to be where the cool people are
> There is only one rational way to respond to this situation
> nopressure.png
> Stories are currency, right? I’ll just bargain for popularity because they seem to be worth something
use Knowledge of Your Obvious Nemesis
use Political Following
use GWWC Pledge
You have acquired the following items: Tumblr Account; 2 Party Invitations
You have gained the following superpower: Assertiveness and Confidence
Self-esteem +1
> justasplanned.png
> Go to SF
> Meet the people
> #it me everywhere
You have acquired the following items: Social Life; Place That Feels Like Home; Immigrant Status
You have gained the following superpower: Programming Skills
You have lost the following attributes: Depression
Self-esteem +1
> Return to Finland
> Illfare state bullshit everywhere
> Desperate to get back to SF ASAP because everything is better there
Will to Power +1
You have leveled up the following superpower: Programming Skills
5/5 would recommend to everyone
3 months ago · tagged #user's guide to interacting with a promethea #bitching about the country of birth #it me #where did all these brainclones suddenly appear from · 10 notes · .permalink