Character flaws
So, does tumblr believe in character and character flaws? Because I get the impression that eg. “laziness” is called “executive dysfunction” and viewed as a disability, or there is always some disability that’s the reason why people don’t put effort into work/social stuff/school/working out/whatever and that it’s horribly unfair and wrong that you get fired or flunk or lose friends if you just sit on your butt and do nothing.
And, I understand that chronic pain and depression are real. I understand that some people have some legit reasons. But… I’ve known people who did game the system or con their loved ones into taking care of them when they were capable of taking care of themselves, just… why do work when you can play on the internet all day?
Most of the time the… malingers? They are from better off families who can afford to support them or hire lawyers to navigate the system. Not that I haven’t watched people quit jobs because it was too much work for no improvement over the dole… that sorta makes sense though.
I mean, OTOH, I don’t see anybody running around and saying it’s abelist to ascribe anger issues or most forms of “abusiveness” to character flaws rather than “poor thing can’t help it” causes.
You see that some with personality disorders and relationships though; people making excuses for abusers and saying it’s abelist and mean to cut them off.
I see this too, and I feel uncomfortable as all hell with it.
Because… From an understanding the person standpoint, it matters whether they’re a jerk or just having executive function trouble.
From an I need those reports standpoint, it doesn’t. From a hey if you want multiple partners and want me to feel cared for I NEED to know I’m someplace on your schedule, even if your schedule is a greatly haphazard thing, it doesn’t.
I feel like Tumblr starts in a good place when it says “failure is human; don’t shatter yourself over it.” But tumblr goes so far about that.
I get the vibe from Tumblr sometimes that if you’re not failing at anything and everything, you’re NT, and that means you’re an insufferable perfection-bot who isn’t actually human.
I find this inspiring, but a lot of people seem to find it horrifyingly harsh and it just makes them cry and be “triggered.” I’m not sure if the problem is me or them or what: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
Tumblr ends up with a kind of “Oreo” like sense of “success is betrayal of the community” thing. Its not a bad thing to not struggle to feed yourself and clean up after ffs.
I don’t know, as someone who used to be very “lazy” and is now the polar opposite of that (I regularly get people asking me how I find the energy to work as much as I do), I have a lot of sympathy for people who can’t manage it. Tumblr attributes it to brain problems, but I’d frame it more in terms of bad life circumstances and opportunities.
I don’t buy into the idea of character flaws on a large scale - when you have a big group of people who all have the same problem, there’s something systemic going on. Notice that the vast majority of these people are in university. For me, working on a liberal arts degree with no clear job or life path at the end made me completely give up. I saw it in my classmates too.
I think it’s rare for people to want to do nothing all of the time. There are probably some people who genuinely enjoy it, but for the vast majority of people, doing nothing causes depression. Once you start failing on the basics of running your life, it’s hard to claw your way back. You start finding ways to justify it - like calling it executive dysfunction
I don’t buy into Tumblr’s approach of “it’s your brain!!” since I think that leads people to avoid looking at their life on a material level and how it isn’t working. Calling it a disability encourages you to feel powerless to change it. But I also don’t think the bootstraps method works. You can only work really hard when you’re in a place where you have something worth working at.
Calling it a disability encourages you to feel powerless to change it.
I don’t know, calling it a disability can get you to finally stop feeling powerless to chance your “choices” (that somehow magically keep being some of the worst, most unpleasant choices for you despite presumably being able to change them at any point). The realization that there is a material reason you keep doing the same destructive thing over and over, as opposed to being the result of “free will” that you have long been seeing doesn’t work as advertised, can prompt you to look for external ways of changing your behavior instead of waiting for your Inner Spirit to shine through. But what’s more, such a realization can get you to stop blaming yourself and accepting that you deserve the pain you’re enduring right now due to being a consequence of your choices. That is a HUGE load off your shoulders that may have weighed you down far more than helped you act.
“It’s your brain”/”you are disabled” can turn an incomprehensible phenomenon seemingly both your fault and out of your control into a physiological phenomenon subject to clear laws.
You can only work really hard when you’re in a place where you have something worth working at.
“It’s your brain”/”you are disabled” can turn an incomprehensible phenomenon seemingly both your fault and out of your control into a physiological phenomenon subject to clear laws.
^ yes to both of this
^ seconding just because those two are really important and obscenely relevant. I’ve seen the change from “no long-term prospects” to “immediately actionable plans to a credibly better future” first-hand and it’s ridiculously huge; almost enough to make one seem like a completely different person.
3 months ago · tagged #it me #ableism cw #depression cw · 304 notes · source: isaacsapphire · .permalink