An application for a job in the state feminist organization: a rap battle
Oh hi
I heard
you need a head secretary substitute
and well
I thought
I’d be sufficiently resolute
to take
over
and make
over
just like once before
yes I’m that queer
child of a w-
-wait a minute are you insulting the people I’m working for?
I expect that long before
this message reaches its destination
it will long have been preceded
by my reputation
the community I hijacked
the wetware I hacked
a lot of people were sacked, several times replaced
by those who never before had seen such a place
now we’ve built one and whitespace is a word
that needs to stay limited to my programming world
We take ideas seriously, no point in wasting time
get called out, go all out, pivot on a dime
we do a thorough rebrand with a single solid argument
your sclerotic democracy is a parody of government
endless filibustering never updating beliefs
I’m sure anti-feminists are sighing from relief
your arguments are outdated your statistics so shitty
that the only way to support them is purely out of pity
Now we’re a lean, keen change-making machine
I admit sometimes we’ve been a little bit mean
but our theory is polished to an impeccable sheen
and you surely can see the implacable gleam
in our eyes as we set our sights on the prize
getting ready to fight tired of paying the price of your dangerous lies
so often decried but we won’t be defied denied the place you’ve defiled
flashing predator smiles at the people reviled
“autogynephile” welcome pot meet kettle
are you ready for a match to truly test your mettle
or just content to watch as the deals get settled
shutting out the shut-ins hiding away the sins
ableism towards those lacking your respect-ability
So let me see you require a degree
so when did they start issuing those on the streets
or the sheets of the workers, forced to stay discreet
as your nordic model citizens push deeper with their feet
yeah the foot in the boot on the necks of the dregs
the social rejects of this social democracy
the mockery and the crookery of the modern day rookery
yet it’s always dismissed as an ivory tower
when we start speaking our truth to your power
so you’re looking for someone who knows their Irigaray and Butler
well let me tell you this I’ve learned more useful shit on Tumblr
And seriously are you such complete fools
the pay that you’re offering is enough for two
in fact that’s exactly what I’m planning to do!
Give you twice the workers still with a fair compensation
skip paying for pensions route it through a corporation
I’m expecting some tensions but do you get the implication
have you ever listened to our generation
in your middle-aged blind faith in the goodness of your nation?
Since 1991 we’ve been the targets of austerity
the cuts always financing baby boomers’ own prosperity
we see behind the rhetoric and know what they are saying
means we’ll never see a cent of all the money we’d be paying
You may be in favor of being looted by thy neighbour
but we millenials will keep the fruits of our own labor
(and buy bednets with ten percent of it
but you wouldn’t understand what I’m talking about)
So yes, we’ll skip
funding the benefits
of the exact people responsible for causing the decifits
of equal rights and money alike
the ones who’d be missing it are old dudes, not dykes
With the above in mind I submit my application
ready to be interviewed at your chosen location
keep in mind this is an offer we won’t be offering twice
what you’re doing is picking your sides
will you be ready to reform or be swept aside
when I return one day with an unstoppable tide
3 months ago · tagged #support your local supervillain #steel feminism #hamilton is a goddamn memetic hazard #stay away from it if you value your sanity · 3 notes · .permalink
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