promethea.incorporated

ozymandias271:

my transness doesn’t feel like “I am nonbinary.” I don’t really know what that would mean.

It feels like “I want to be nonbinary”. It feels like reading about intersex conditions as a teenager, desperately searching for one it was possible that I had. Like reading genderswap fanfics because the thing I wanted most in the world was to wake up in a boy’s body and be okay with it and have everyone acknowledge me as both. Like staring at myself in the mirror and pressing down on my breasts so they would go away. Like every time I hear myself called ‘they’ it feels like I’m getting away with something. Like when someone said “you know, you’re going to have a pretty narrow friends group if you’re only friends with people who don’t mispronoun you” thinking “if that’s all I have to pay to get to be nonbinary I am lucky.”

I want to be nonbinary so hard that I bootstrapped myself into actually being nonbinary. 

So much this.

In fact, I literally cannot separate my transness from transhumanism because “I want to take control of my body and my social context and customize them to better match what I want instead of what I was given” doesn’t contain any joints to carve reality by. Why would one set of chemicals and modifications that improves my brain, senses, and body, be categorically different from another set of chemicals and modifications?

(The fact that in finnish the words for “trans person” and “transhuman” are one and the same is kind of interesting and convenient although there is no deep etymological meaning to it; “person” and “human” just usually translate into the same word.)

3 months ago · tagged #it me · 92 notes · source: ozymandias271 · .permalink

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    So, competing access needs, yadda yadda. But I think it’s really instructive in this case to look at who tends to...

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