theunitofcaring asked: the number of people who feel entitled to comment on your parenting is kind of horrifying. I'd heard that happens to pregnant people but I'm actually in a mild state of shock about how bad it is. you are handling it with extraordinary grace, but what the fuck.
It’s okay, @andaisq just taught me to block anons so when I’m sick of it all will be well.
It’s weird, I didn’t really get mean anons before. Hypothesis is that I don’t usually seem vulnerable but now I’m impregnated and therefore probably hormonal and irrational and really easy to make cry, open season, whee?
It’s just the Public School Internet Defense Force, who are hired by teachers’ unions, textbook manufacturers, and “smart classroom” companies to harass home-schoolers online.
I actually get it? Like, I’m not even a parent but whenever I see someone making different parenting choices from the ones I would make I have a visceral reaction of WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE RUINED. Obviously,
1) this is irrational, parenting doesn’t actually matter that much and the children will probably be fine
2) actually expressing that reaction to the person in question is incredibly rude, mean, and unproductive.
If I heard that some future parent was planning to not vaccinate or to let their kids get lots of lead exposure or something, I’d probably be concerned.
Anons probably just feel the same way about public education?
As the child of a parenting magazine editor: the mommy wars are real and they are vicious. A lot of people feel really insecure about their own parenting and want to tear down others, and a lot of people feel like they’re ‘helping children’ by being dicks to parents whose parenting choices they don’t like.
As a secret overlord of a feminist community that fights hard to keep the mommy wars out; holy shit they are indeed. I’m proud that TOFC is actually at all able to discuss the topics instead of having to ban them altogether like the competitors, but even then the issue of people being 1. absolutely certain that theirs is the One Right Way to Raise Kids and Everyone Who Does It Differently Is Irresponsible and Evil 2. completely fed up with the previous group and consequently making the (unfortunately not that unwarranted) assumption that anyone bringing such topics up is one of them and reacting with pre-emptive hostility, is quite ubiquitous.
And yes, other people having children does bring up a strong impulse of other-optimizing because the topic is Obviously Important and Everyone Else is Doing it Wrong. In addition everyone has personal experience on being either victimized by Worst Parenting Ever or having enjoyed The Only Right Way to Do It. I even recognize the impulses in myself (there but for the grace of Elua go I…) so… yeah, pretty much nobody on the internet trusts others to raise kids properly without massive amounts of unsolicited and aggressive advice.
It makes sense in some ways because some things do indeed cause enough harm that shouting at people would be warranted if it actually did have a substantial effect at alleviating them, but people who know those things also know that the actions taken on that impulse tend to be irrational and irresponsible and not help anyone at all and simply add unnecessary stress which is demonstrably harmful to children and thus only make things worse.
People who participate in the mommy wars are hurting both their own and others’ children and must be stopped at any cost! We must shout at them endlessly until they stop doing it!
4 months ago · tagged #sorry couldn't resist #but seriously though shouting at people doesn't help #while not shouting at people does #and it's not like i'm biased against shouting at people #i've used it very effectively in many situations and this just isn't one of them #although shouting at the mommy warriors might help #haven't been able to coordinate enough shouting power to test it properly #yet #growth mindset #parenting cw · 40 notes · source: luminousalicorn · .permalink
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socialjusticemunchkin reblogged this from ozymandias271 and added:As a secret overlord of a feminist community that fights hard to keep the mommy wars out; holy shit they are indeed. I’m...
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shkreli-for-president reblogged this from ilzolende and added:i agree, public education is directly comparable to not vaccinating and letting kids get lots of lead exposure
automatic-ally liked this- ozymandias271 reblogged this from ilzolende and added:
As the child of a parenting magazine editor: the mommy wars are real and they are vicious. A lot of people feel really...
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ilzolende reblogged this from worldoptimization and added:If I heard that some future parent was planning to not vaccinate or to let their kids get lots of lead exposure or...
rageofthedogstar reblogged this from worldoptimization and added:I have this same reaction, more or less. The strength of the feelings people tend to have about other people’s parenting...
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worldoptimization reblogged this from nuclearspaceheater and added:I actually get it? Like, I’m not even a parent but whenever I see someone making different parenting choices from the...
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