wirehead-wannabe:
dagny-hashtaggart:
loki-zen:
dagny-hashtaggart:
gabbingglycine:
dagny-hashtaggart:
On the subject of it getting weird: I’ve had the “corporations are Cthulhu” and “I want to have sex with Cthulhu” thoughts before, but this is the first time they’ve converged.
subway? more like sub-way amritiere
The bitter truth is that Subway is actually a dom, but no one ever believes them.
And now we all feel bad for laughing at that joke.
Subway, I love you
Well, Nike is based in Portland, so at least it’s probably into some freaky shit.
Have we really gone this whole thread without a “footlong” joke?
This proves that corporations are people. The feeling I get when I imagine owning pretty corporations and doing terrible, perverted things to them (or punishing wicked naughty corporations which tends to be most of them) is identical to the feeling I get when I imagine doing terrible, perverted things to pretty people. Then again this may be proving too much because I also get the exact same feeling when I imagine doing terrible, perverted things to code (such as redefining Ruby to basically implement Lisp because fuck you that’s why); I may just be into doing terrible, perverted things to anything pretty.
2 months ago · tagged #shitposting #nsfw text · 38 notes · source: dagny-hashtaggart · .permalink
oligopsony:
respectable is respectable today, correct is correct forever
(via multiheaded1793)
2 months ago · tagged #probably the best summation ever for why respectability is bullshit #nothing to add but tags · 330 notes · .permalink
owlturdcomix:
A Guide to Dress Codes
image / twitter / facebook / patreon
Current state: business megaformal
(via multiheaded1793)
2 months ago · tagged #shitposting · 142,310 notes · .permalink
themarchrabbit:
onsheka:
thepioden:
gessorly:
tyrror:
ruingaraf:
themarchrabbit:
Seriously, it kills me when I see people hold scientists up as pinnacles of logic and reason.
Because one time the professor I was interning for got punched in the face by another professor, because mine got the funding, and told the other professor his theory was stupid.
This same professor told me to throw rocks to scare the “stupid fucking crabs” into moving so we could count them properly.
SCIENCE
thank you
this is one of the best comments this post has recieved
I have witnessed:
Two professors hiding around a corner and snickering, “Shhh, here she comes!” While a female professor approached and, when she finally found them, she proceeded to scream while pointing from one to the other, “You! I called your office but you weren’t there! So I tried to call YOUR office to figure out where HE was but YOU weren’t there!”
Two grad students standing outside a closed and locked door yelling, “Come out of the damn office. You haven’t left for days. If you didn’t have a couch in there I’d be concerned as to where you were sleeping!”
A religious studies professor apologizing for being late to class because, “security stopped me because I’m dressed like a hobbit”
Watched a professor snort the results of my experiment to determine if I had the right final compound.
Two archeology professors toss priceless fossilized teeth back and forth in an attempt to figure out who is smarter by “guessing the type of tooth and species of animal before it lands”
Multiple fully degreed individuals throw dry ice at one another in an attempt to be first to use the lab/get that piece of equipment/or change the iPod song.
A genetics professor build furniture out of stacks of paper and planks of wood because she is that far behind in grading papers/responding. One of the impromptu furniture pieces housed a fish tank.
I could go on but I think that covers the larger portion of the insanity…
Every time it comes around on my dash, it gets better.
- I have had a professor buy a huge fuckoff bottle of rum during fieldwork in Costa Rica and let the undergrads get wasted because “you’re not underage in Costa Rica and we’ll be up all night with the bats anyway!”
- Same professor hung a bat from her headlamp and wore it as a decoration for an entire night.
- A whole swarm of older women - and these are women with PhDs and world-renown bat experts, the bigwigs - all, to a woman, go to the formal charity dinner at an international research symposium in Toronto in late October dressed in skimpy Batgirl costumes. Because Halloween was that weekend, you see.
- At a different conference, a professor get blackout drunk and pass out on the side of the road.
- “Yeah, we have to say we did it properly for the grant but to be really honest, Miracle-gro works better.”
- Teaching lab: we had liquid nitrogen for a demo, and after class the professor, the other TA, and I spent a good two hours freezing and breaking things in it.
a chemistry class begins with 30 students nine months later just six of us left sitting on tables dipping paper into contaminated chemicals to see what happens when we burn it teacher making idle suggestions while he marks our work
“go to the fume hood thing, yeah now put some potassium in chlorine” can i burn the results sir? “fuck it sure whatever its tainted anyway”
The prof I’m working for just asked me if I knew how to pick a lock, and when I responded “yes” she replied, “see, this is why I hire the former delinquents instead of the suck-ups. You’re actually useful.”
I then let her into her office.
(via endecision)
2 months ago · tagged #it me · 186,089 notes · .permalink
quoms:
songsaboutswords:
god andrew jackson is staying on the back of the twenty
this is brilliant. as you hold one of these crisp new bills in your hand, on one side you’ll see the vibrant revolutionary undercurrent of american history, and on the other side you can see the genocidal white supremacist reactionary element
and as you turn it over and over, admiring the tenth of a millimeter of cotton-linen paper separating harriet tubman from andrew jackson, you come to understand the way in which america reconciles these seemingly dialectically opposed forces: it turns them both into money
(via multiheaded1793)
2 months ago · tagged #nothing to add but tags · 4,403 notes · source: songsaboutswords · .permalink
oligopsony:
it took me forever to understand this chart because of the atrocious way Americans use language
Proposal:%s/liberal/progressive/g
because what the fuck this doesn’t make any sense
i mean a lot of libertarianism is left-skepticism in the sense of “we have no clue what we’re doing so how about we don’t have PoliceMob kidnap poor people just for…” but this isn’t that thing this is just some kind of weird inversion of what the fuck
(via oligopsony-deactivated20160508)
2 months ago · 17 notes · .permalink
roachpatrol:
factsinallcaps:
HARRIET TUBMAN ESCAPED FROM SLAVERY AND THEN WENT BACK TO GET OTHERS. LIKE, I KNOW YOU KNOW WHO HARRIET TUBMAN IS AND THAT SHE DID THAT, BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT IN FOR A SECOND.
HARRIET TUBMAN WAS HELD CAPTIVE AND BOUND TO UNPAID, BACK-BREAKING LABOR SINCE BIRTH UNDER PENALTY OF TORTURE OR DEATH. SHE MANAGED TO ESCAPE THAT LIFE, AND SHE TURNED THE FUCK AROUND AND WENT THE FUCK BACK TO GET EVERYONE ELSE WHO WAS STILL TRAPPED IN IT. AND THEN SHE DID IT AGAIN EIGHTEEN MORE TIMES.
WHEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS UNSURE WHETHER OR NOT HE WAS PREPARED TO MAKE A STAND AGAINST SLAVERY, HARRIET TUBMAN BASICALLY SAID HE SHOULD STOP BEING SUCH A DIAPER BABY AND THAT GUYS WHO ARE TOO SCARED TO END SLAVERY DON’T DESERVE TO WIN WARS.
NOT ONLY DID SHE SECRET OVER 300 SLAVES TO FREEDOM ON THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, BUT SHE ACTED AS A SPY FOR THE UNION ARMY DURING THE CIVIL WAR, AND BECAME THE FIRST WOMAN TO LEAD AN ARMED ASSAULT IN THE CIVIL WAR. THAT RAID BROUGHT FREEDOM TO OVER 700 SLAVES IN ONE GO.
SO I JUST WANT YOU TO STEW ON THAT FOR LIKE A MINUTE. ACTING IN THE SHADOWS, SHE WALKED INTO HELL ON EARTH 19 TIMES TO SAVE HER FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS FROM THE TORMENT SHE ENDURED, AND THE SECOND SHE WAS GIVEN EVEN A MODICUM OF POWER, SHE MANAGED TO FREE SEVEN HUNDRED SLAVES IN ONE DAY.
I GUARANTEE, HOWEVER IMPRESSED YOU ALREADY ARE WITH HARRIET TUBMAN, YOU ARE FALLING LIKE AT LEAST 40% SHORT OF HOW IMPRESSED YOU SHOULD BE WITH HARRIET TUBMAN. SHE IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF BADASSERY IN THE ENTIRETY OF AMERICAN HISTORY.
OKAY LISTEN IN ADDITION TO MAKING BOTH CAPTAIN AMERICA AND MOSES FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT LOOK LIKE A PAIR OF GODDAMN UNDERACHIEVERS SHE DID ALL THIS WITH CHRONIC PAIN FROM A TRAUMATIC HEAD INJURY.
WHEN SHE WAS FUCKING TWELVE YEARS OLD SHE TRIED TO INTERVENE IN THE BEATING OF ANOTHER SLAVE AND GOT HER HEAD CRACKED OPEN FROM IT. A CHILD. A CHILD BORN INTO SLAVERY. AND SHE WENT UP AGAINST A PISSED OFF WHITE MAN WHO LITERALLY OWNED HER TO TRY AND HELP, LIKE, SHIT, I DON’T WANT TO GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH PISSED OFF WHITE MEN AND I’M WHITE AND IT’S THE 21st CENTURY. SO OKAY THEN HERE’S THIS WOMAN, FIVE FOOT NOTHING, DISABLED, HAD NARCOLEPSY AND HEADACHES AND VISIONS, DECIDED THOSE VISIONS WERE FROM GOD, AND PERSONALLY DELIVERED A THOUSAND HUMAN BEINGS FROM ONE OF THE CRUELEST FORMS OF ENSLAVEMENT IN HISTORY. OH, AND AFTER ALL THAT SHE LIVED UNTIL SHE WAS FUCKING NINETY.
HARRIET TUBMAN WAS LITERALLY A PALADIN.
ITT: literally an IRL superhero
(via multiheaded1793)
2 months ago · tagged #racism cw #slavery cw #violence cw · 161,833 notes · source: factsinallcaps · .permalink
wirehead-wannabe:
jackmusclescarier replied to your post: “I wish we could just institute restroom anarchy somewhere and be done…”:
Not the main point here but: I recently learned that public bathroom stall doors often have gaps to deter homeless people from locking themselves in to take a nap.
Ah, okay.
If only someone had actually tried providing the homeless with more convenient places to sleep in than public bathrooms, and found that not only is it more humane, it is also more efficient to use the taxpayers’ money to make homelessness go away, instead of trying to make the homeless go away. If only.
2 months ago · 9 notes · source: · .permalink
ilzolende:
Me: IDK what color I should get this fabric-y thing in. I’ll get it in black, the default color for things made out of fabric and/or worn by humans!
Me: Oh, look. I have ended up wearing a black jacket, black socks, black shoes, a black purse, and a black backpack. Who could have predicted this?
original post
That is maximum convenience. The upside is that when buying clothes or selecting clothes for wearing I don’t need to consider color, the downside is that I can’t distinguish them in my closet even with the lights on.
That can be solved by buying fungible clothing; I have three identical black tank tops, and I think 3-5 (yes I don’t even know the exact number without going to check it that’s how ~convenient~ my clothing is!) essentially identical black t-shirts (which I bought with the method of selecting my favorite t-shirt, googling the brand, going to the shop which sells $brand and telling them I want to buy every single correctly sized t-shirt of that kind they had).
Then, if you want colors, put them in your hair.
This is a substantial part of manufacturing an efficient promethea, allowing more time for shitposting on tumblr
2 months ago · tagged #user's guide to interacting with a promethea · 27 notes · source: ilzolende · .permalink
As a future emigrant from this goddamn continent, this is a 100% accurate description of our politics, and this is why anything even slightly resembling patriotism causes any sane european to back off slowly while maintaining eye contact and nodding and smiling noncommittally.
It’s not you americans, it’s our centuries of trauma around the topic because we’re used to manure hitting the windmill everytime someone tries patriotism because “this time it will totally work differently” has so far universally always meant “the symbols and possibly the colors and perhaps even the slogans will be slightly altered so they don’t pattern-match too easily to every previous disastrous attempt at experimenting with patriotism ever”. And still the people haven’t learned that europeans shouldn’t be allowed to handle patriotism without being protected by both a hazmat suit and an enclave power armor.
(via ozymandias271)
2 months ago · tagged #this goddamn continent #nazis cw · 2,774 notes · source: twitter.com · .permalink
